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back the fuck up

There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.

So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.

The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.

Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.

did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out

This just keeps getting better

Sam Vimes, ladies and Gentlemen. Sam Badass Vimes.


'I wasn't interested in getting married,” she recalled. ”I was involved in the theater.” [Louis] Schweitzer pursued her. During a business trip to France he telephoned and told her he was sending a ticket and that they would get married in Paris. Friends persuaded her to accept — ”You can always get a divorce,” they said…”

-Excerpt from an obituary for Lucille Lortel, published in The New York Times, April 1999. 

Stage actress Lucille Lortel (née Waldel; 1900-1999)

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